Quality pays off more than quantity

The Broghammers are a prolific family.
Together they can count on six children (in reality the younger is 23).
Two on Mrs Broghammer's side and four on Mr. Broghammer's side. But as the parents are different, so the offspring’s.
Mr. Broghammer has no children anymore, while Mrs Broghammer has just two, but feels like she had twenty.
Is is a matter of education.
"A mother is something who is there when children need her".
And her children perfectly understood it. They are there at Christmas, Easter, their birthdays, before the Summer holidays.
Just in case the mother would help a little bit with life expenses.
They are NEVER there on Mother's day.
That is a VERY anachronistic day.
Who cares about commercial festivity?
(Valentine day is different, it involves couples and not family).
So that the Broghammers will have a happy Christmas with the restricted family.
It is quality, not quantity that counts...
A little advice from Mrs Broghammer: make independent children, but not too much...

Christmas preparations

The Broghammer family IS NOT like the MASS.
It is its main concern to point it out: we are different.
So that to better distinguish itself, the Broghammer family has to ACT differently.

Let's take Christmas as an example.
ALL people around have a Christmas tree, the Broghammers have Santa Claus.
All people have gifts under the tree, since the Broghammers do not have a tree, why bother to make gifts?
The only exceptions will be two nice (sober and simple) envelops with two checks that Mr. Broghammer will write (he is the one who is precise and NEVER makes mistakes, so not to waist a check)and Mrs. Broghammer will sign.
In order to do that Mr. Broghammer uses a ruler and calculates the centimetres from the beginning to the end of the handwriting, not forgetting the height, so that the number of letters which composes the name of the receiver or the sum of money written, is fairly distributed on the allowed space.
We usually write checks without decimals, so, being the name of the receiver much longer than the sum of money the space among the letters in the latter will be much bigger than the one in the name.
In order to achieve an harmonic balance, Mr. Broghammer mentally calculates where to begin and where to end.
I must say that, on the contrary of what people may think, sometimes writing a check IS NOT easier and faster than buying a gift.
All people run to buy presents and Panettone and Pandoro.
The Broghammers go on with the usual sober life.
Besides they are ALWAYS on a diet, why stopping at Christmas?
The usual exception will be that MRS Broghammer will bake a special Christmas cake.
It is really special, because, in spite of the fact that the recipe is always the same, the quantity of flour, butter, raisins, can change, because Mrs. Broghammer NEVER uses a scale and relies on her own sight, which can vary a lot depending on the fact of using a pair of glasses or not...
And that highly depends on where she left them the day before.
If she doesn't remember, she doesn't find them and why bother anyhow?
At Christmas you usually expect surprises, or don't you?
Besides she knows that her children are ALL very polite (with the exception of the son in law sometimes) and they WOULD NEVER say the cake IS NOT good.
As for Mr. Broghammer, as we say in Italy, has a "good mouth" and a good appetite (due to the perennial diet) and EVERYTHING or ALMOST is tasty and excellent in his opinion.
Especially the things his wife does, because they have that special virtue that goes under the name of "CHEAP" (compared to the factory made)...

Family's gossip

The main subject in my ex ex husband's (it is not a typing mistake, I had three husbands and he being the first, is the one who deserves two ex) family is inheritance.
My daughter knows everything about the family law (what concerns Wills and so on).
If you need a lawyer in this matter, you should first consult her.
And she finds it such an interesting matter that she loves to discuss anybody's inheritance.
When she meets somebody she likes to see their genealogic tree and discuss about all the possible chances.
Dying with a Will or without.
Being direct descendants or not.
More than anything having something to leave or not...
For what concerns her, I am sure she won't even let her successors the money to pay for funeral expenses (but she wants to be cremated anyhow).
I think the main reason people like her are so keen of inheritance is that, producing and saving nothing themselves they like to dream about other people's money and what they would do with it...
As for me, I put a stone on inheritances long ago.
As my mother always said there is a curse on our family: whatever we should and could inherit always managed to go to somebody else.
We are not the "Inheritors Type"...

About Germans

Mr. Broghammer looks like a peculiar creature here in Italy, but he is perfectly normal in Germany.
There what we see as "obsession for perfection" is just normality, to the point that nothing has any sense if it is not "Perfection close".
They defined the "Allies" as "Geniuses" since they were able to "spot" Germans" tactics.
But there is nothing easier.
In order to reach perfection every German keeps records of what he does, also of what he does "wrong".
And in order to be perfect records, they are easily found.

To cheat thieves I have a special way that till now has saved part of my belongings because I keep them in so many places that the average thief cannot find all.
My daughter is a masterpiece in deceiving thieves.
She keeps her jewellery in the most unexpected places, like shoes or under the bed.
Of course that is done with simple lack of order, but it proves useful in case of robbery.
The side effect of my tactics is that, having a poor memory, I never remember where I hid my belongings, so that when I need them I know I have them, but I do not know where.

Since I married Mr. Broghammer we have improved a lot.
My belongings are still scattered around, but Mr. Broghammer keeps a record of the places on his hard drive.(in perfect German style)
What thieves need today is just a little computer skill (which luckily they usually lack) and the trick is easily knocked off...
I still beilieve that my daughter's way is the best: what you do not find the others will not find too...

Broghammers coffee time

I guess Italy is the only place in the World where you can have up to 20 types of a different coffee.
And this IS one of the specialities of the Broghammer family.
In principle our way of living is quite boring, especially in winter.
What makes it so special is the way we live it, new, unexpected, and surprising.
Every day in its boring ordinarily way can be a surprising event.
We begin with the morning coffee.
It is Never the same.
We can use the same coffee machine, but the outcome can change enormously.
Of course it depends on the one who makes it.
Mine is usually more milk than coffee.
Sweeter and smaller. I use MY middle size cups.
Mr. Broghammer uses huge cups where he pours litres of coffee which have in common with it mostly the colour, a few drops of boiled milk and a big smile" Honey I made a wonderful foam".
Well he really is a master in foams.
The coffee cup looks like a beer mug, one of those they serve at "Muenchen Beer Fest".
I always say he could compete and has good chances to win some kind of a Guinness for the "Cappuccino foam".
I guess the cappuccino, together with the lasagne is (or at least was) one of the Italian main attractions for Germans.
So much that our "Cappuccino" became in the 60s "Kappuccino".
Lasagne didn't have to change the name, it was enough the taste.
Germans had tears in their eyes when they talked about Italy.
That is why they do not come here anymore.
You cannot find a decent dish of lasagne anywhere and as for the Kappuccino, Lavazza and Nescafe invented a home machine that makes the coffee as good as in any Italian bar.
Why bother to come to Italy?

The Broghammers' telephone

The telephone is a technical device both the Broghammers hate.
They belong to the 3% of people in Italy who do not own a cell phone.
Mrs. Broghammer's mother was so ashamed of it that she offered to buy one for them.
And she didn't want to hurt her daughter's feelings and even offered the right excuse to own one "So you will always be in touch with everybody!".
That (she didn't know) was the point.
The Broghammers DO NOT WANT to be in touch with anybody anytime.
Mrs. Broghammer's daughter calls every day (on the normal phone) to tell how the weather is in Genova, how many degrees and what they forecast for the next day, in which she will have one thing more to discuss besides how the weather is: how it was supposed to be.
Now that she is a mother the conversations are of course longer.
She has to reveal the timetable of the meals and baths and whatever a new born child usually does.
And the lenght of the telephone calls will automatically upgrade with the child's coming into this world with voice and sounds and steps.
In order to avoid so (and for other reasons too) the Broghammers will go to live in Germany.
"The telephone calls from Italy to Germany will be so expensive, they will last a few minutes and be not so often...." says smiling Mr. Broghammer.

But in Genova they are exactly the opposite.
They spend 80% of their time on the telephone.
In Italy there are four main cell phone companies.
They both have four cell phones each, in order to get advantage of ALL the special offers of ALL the cell providers....
Not only.
Mrs. Broghammer's son in law KNOWS practically EVERY offer of mobile and fix telephone companies.
He WAS SO CLEVER to find a special offer on international calls.
You pay a fix amount a month and you can call in EUROPE, as long and as much as you like.
And, not to miss it, he already SUBSCRIBED, since NOVEMBER.
Well, young people, they do not miss a chance to fuck old people!

Christmas gets closer

Christmas gets closer and there is a small problem in the Broghammer family.
Well, as a matter of fact, it is mainly a Mr. Broghammer's problem, but it reflects on the family's armony and consequently it is also a Mrs. Broghammer's problem.

Mrs. Broghammer has become a grandmother since November 3 of a nicely spoiled little bratt in Genova.
The grandson's mother is the daughter of Mrs. Broghammer from her previous marriage.
And everything would be perfectly fine if the daughter hadn't married.
She could have had the child and so on, as millions of other girls.
But she loves traditions and the classic way to produce children.
"How dramatically boring!" says Mrs. Broghammer who usually begins with the children and eventually goes to marriages.
But that is: the Hippy Revolution, was just for nothing.
Once they married for love and made children for the same reason, also without husband.
Now they marry for convenience and make children because they have to.

Well, going back to the Broghammers, this young girl not only married, but choose also a very peculiar husband who is nice in his peculiar way.
Too bad his peculiar way IS NOT the way Mr. Broghammer likes.

The result is that whatever he does or plans to do is wrong and eccentric and stupid.
To that you add the fact that this young man has a friend who is very FOND of IT and is always brought as EXAMPLE of a genius in IT...
That is something you should never do, at least when Mr. Broghammer is there.

Well, to make short a long story, we have to spend TWO days with my daughter in Genova and Mr. Broghammer is sure it will be just Christmas day!!
I still do not know how to break the shocking news to him and have to study something...

The Broghammers prepare for Christmas

No big trees.
Big trees would mean big or small presents under them.
The Broghammers are a sober family.
They never waste money, least in recession times.
They invested some time ago in a nice set of wooden candles with a Santa (also in wood) that came at a convenient price in a Shop in Dresden.
The candles are small and consume very little energy.
In order to save more energy, Mr. Broghammer put a watch on the switch.
It switches on at 5.30 PM and off at 7.30 PM.
We decided for 7.30 because it is in a window which faces the main street.
This street is frequented in business hours only and it is an outrageous waste of money and electricity to keep it on when there is practically nobody who can see and enjoy it...
The watch is the one we use for watering the garden when we are away, so not further cost to the technical device.
"Everybody should learn from us" is the usual saying of Mr. Broghammer and of course Mrs Broghammer agrees.
She always agrees when the subject is related to saving.
And what is better saving of energy than something the only thing you have to do is wrapping or unwrapping and connecting to the switch?

Meet the Broghammers

Of course the Broghammers have different tastes in movies (as in many other things).
What they do (different and opposite to what the usual couples do)is competing in pleasing one the other.
I admit I am the one who fights with lesser strength, so that I am the one who usually looses.
That means we mostly look at movies I LIKE.
But that doesn't mean they are low quality.
They are just my taste.
Unless of course I am fed up and want to look at something else.
That is when Mr. Broghammer looses, and we happily look at something he likes.
Too bad I fall asleep quite soon and he, very nicely I must admit, sacrifies himself and stops, so that we usually see MY FAVORITE movies and half of his...

One of the favourite of Mr. Broghammer is The Godfather.
We bought the Premium Tapes, but since they were not good enough, a few years later we bought the DVDs.
I guess this is one of the movies I saw around ten times and I know almost everything of it.
I happen to be the cousin of the Demaria who sold a property called Fleur du Lake to Mr. Coppola, where he made the Godfather number 2.
It is the place where Michael used to live.
I was there when they prepared the place and still have some nice pictures.



I think it is a mixture of his love for Italy and its recent history (mafia and co.) that fascinates my husband.
May be it is also the fact that I WAS THERE with the fact that it is a very good movie, well all together he loves it so much.

As for me, I really do not have favourites.
There are some that I like, some that I like very much and some I cannot stand...
Luckily, one thing we do not lack is the number...

Meet the Broghammer on Sundays

We have, like the upper middle class in Italy, a large kitchen (large means large enough to eat) and two dining rooms, one for the family (it's cosier to eat in the dining room)and one for guests.
In the family dining room we have a round table for six and in the guests' we have a big 17th century table for 12 people.
We never have more than two guests, and it you sum the two of us, we just need a small table in the kitchen.
The fact is that we never eat in the kitchen or in one of the dining rooms.
In summer we eat on the terrace, because we like to look at Birds' private life and in Winter we eat in front of the TV on the room at the last floor.
That makes very uncomfortable launches and dinners and breakfasts, but we love this way.
Life wouldn't be nice if you weren't able to complicate it a little bit.
Besides, our meals are mostly frugal, since we are ALWAYS on a diet.
What changes is the type of diet.
I think I have tried all of the available.
The one that works better is the "Empty Fridge Diet", where you are obliged to feed out of available fruits and cookies.
But if you combine it with the "Empty Cupboard Diet" you have an apple and you can be sure you will get thin, at least as long as the Fridge stays empty.

Being me Italian and he German we should have a big variety in food, but we mostly agree to the average and most common and vastly world's spread which is a Pizza or, when you really want to cook something special a dish of spaghetti carbonara.
That is what I choose when I want to show.
It's easy, fast, and high calories.
So you have the excuse to eat just it, because something else would be too much.

Useless to say that my mother didn't want to live with me...
How come, everybody asked?
They didn't know how my mother enjoyed eating a healthy, good, meal, at least once a day...

Meet the Broghammers

Today my husband (Mr. Broghammer) is unreachable.
My Christmas present arrived this morning.
It is some kind of Music and Video player.
I didn't want it, but my husband wanted it for me.
That was enough.
It is since early morning (after the mail arrived) that I can hardly communicate, since he has this new device on and in (his ears), so that no other sound can reach his brain, not even the familiar sound of: Lunch is ready!

But now I know that on our first trip I will be able to choose among a good selection of his favorite music and entertain myself.

This morning, in my forced isolation, I decided that I will write about our family on my blog.
It will be for all the people who like to hear about the others, when the others are, like us, peculiar in some way.

We are not the average family, at least not the average European family.
I am Italian, my husband is German.
I decided for it because I thought: if it works for a car (quite well) it will work for us.
I mean, if the mixture of Italian design and German technology works, it should also work in family life.
And I was absolutely right.
I hate all what needs more than five minutes to learn how to be used, my husband loves all what takes more than a week to learn how to be used.
I hate perfection, he cannot live without it.
The product is something in the middle, which is, as my Latin ancestors said (in medium est virtus) is something close to what you need to survive.
Let's say I usually produce very nice to look at things, while he produces ugly stuff that works perfectly.
And in life you need both: something that pleases your eyes and something you can use.